i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
