So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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