their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
