those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
