Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
