And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
