Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
