Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
