never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
