Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize