We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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