Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
