id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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