I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
did i just pee glitter
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
