He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
