My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
two words: eviction party
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
