He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
