I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
