direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
