He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
