Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
