From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
