I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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