SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
