Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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