Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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