Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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