The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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