god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
