wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
