so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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