The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
