I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
