There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
