My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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