Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
