well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
