In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
