My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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