My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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