How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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