i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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