I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
The air taste purple.
Randomize
