Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize