I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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