I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
