I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
