Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
