of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
