omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize