Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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