And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
