What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
