I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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