i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
