she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize