Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the condom got lost in my hair
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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