Don't you send me to vm
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
