Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
