Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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