dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
