I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
