i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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