if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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